How To Live
All of “How to Live” notes Cover Image Derek Sivers Hit Media This document is overwritten when you make changes in Play Books. You should make a copy of this document before you edit it. Created by Space Clottey – Last synced
Instead, do what you’d do if you were the only person on Earth.
People think we live in a world of politics, society, norms, and news. But none of it is real. They’re just interpersonal drama. They’re the noisy waste product of unhealthy minds.
Rules and norms were created by the upper class to protect their privilege — to categorize people into high versus low society. None of it applies to you. Long ago, people had to follow norms to have high social status, otherwise they’d be ostracized and couldn’t survive. But now you can survive, mate, and thrive without social status.
When you know what you’re doing, you won’t care what anyone else is doing. When you’re indifferent to people’s words and actions, nobody can affect you.
Never agree with anything the same day you hear it, because some ideas are persuasively hypnotic. Wait a few days to decide what you really think. Don’t let ideas into your head or heart without your permission.
Being independent means you can’t blame others. Decide everything is your fault.
Whoever you blame has power over you, so blame only yourself. When you blame your location, culture, race, or history, you’re abdicating your autonomy.
Everyone has their own lives to manage. Nobody is responsible for you, and you aren’t responsible for anybody. You don’t owe anyone anything.
Have more than one romantic partner, or none.
To avoid emotional dependence, never have just one. Don’t worry about being lonely. Nothing is more lonely than being with the wrong person. It’s always better to be alone.
Your past indulgences and habits might be addictions. Quit a harmless habit for a month, just to prove you can.
When you say you want more freedom from the world, you may just need freedom from your past self
Assume nobody will help you.
Don’t depend on any company, especially not the big tech giants. Use only open-source software and open communication protocols. Keep your own backups. Get your own domain. Run your own server. Might be a good idea but not top priority, don’t drop everything that might make your future bright in order to do it, maybe when u have a bunch of free time, like Derek. Avoiding disasters is also important to do in downtime
Earn multiple passports. If a country enters into war or makes your life hard, just leave.
Make friends wherever you go, so that no one place has all of your friends.
Own your own business with many small customers to avoid depending on any big client. Offer products, not a personal service, so your business can run without you. Create many sources of income like this.
Don’t sign contracts. Be willing to walk away from anything.
You’ve been looking for the best person, place, or career. But seeking the best is the problem. No choice is inherently the best. What makes something the best choice? You. You make it the best through
your commitment to it. Your dedication and actions make any choice great. This is a life-changing epiphany. You can stop seeking the best option. Pick one and irreversibly commit. Then it becomes the best choice for you.
When a decision is irreversible, you feel better about it. When you’re stuck with something, you find what’s good about it. When you can’t change your situation, you change your attitude towards it. So remove the option to change your mind.
You think you want more choice and more options. But when you have unlimited choice, you feel worse. When you keep all options open, you’re conflicted and miserable. Your thoughts are divided. Your power is diluted. Your time is thinly spread. Indecision keeps you shallow. Get the deeper pleasure of diving into one choice. Eg at the library when with hanmer and the gang, wondering if zara is there
Ignore other aspects of your life. Let go of every unnecessary obligation. Each one seems small, but together, they’ll drain your soul. Focus your attention on the few things you’re committed to, and nothing else. Can’t do chrislakin
Find a community of like-minded people. Don’t waste your energy fighting norms. Trust helps your happiness more than income or health. Invite your neighbors over for a meal. Make friends. Make the effort. Borrow and lend. Trust and show you can be trusted. Let them know they can lean on you because you’re here to stay.
The more social ties we have, the happier we are. The bond of friendship is one of the deepest joys in life. Notice those words: ties, bond. These are words of commitment. We say we want freedom, in theory. But we actually prefer this warm embrace.
You and your best friends don’t decide anew each day whether you’re friends or not. You are friends, without question. You’re committed to each other, even if you’ve never said so. That’s what’s wonderful about it. Raj?
Once you decide what’s important to you, you know how your ideal self will act and what your ideal day will be. So why not act that way and live that day every day? Commit to your habits to make them rituals. If it’s not important, never do it. If it’s important, do it every day.
Rockets use most of their fuel in the first minute of flight, to escape the pull of gravity. Once they get outside that p
it’s effortless. Same with your habits. Starting is hard. The rest is easy Maybe I should just start saying I don’t like the initial difficulty in forming habjts
Commit to one career path. Build your expertise and reputation over time. Because you cut off other options, you won’t be derailed by distraction. Since you’re committed, you can’t fail. Even if it takes you years longer than expected, it’s not failure until you give up.
This even goes for technical choices, whether hardware or software.
Pick one. Commit to it. Learn it deeply. This is much more rewarding than always switching and searching for the best.
Marry. Marry someone full of kindness who is committed to putting you in the center of their life. Marry someone you don’t want to change, who doesn’t want to change you. Someone that doesn’t punish you for mistakes. Someone who sees you as your highest potential. Commit completely.
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is harder. Enthusiasm is common.
Endurance is rare.
Your mutual commitment gives you the security to weather the storms, knowing they won’t destroy the relationship.
Commitment gives you peace of mind. When you commit to one thing, and let go of the rest, you feel free. Once you decide something, never change your mind. It’s so much easier to decide just once.
Fill your senses.
Life is short. How to experience it all? Here’s the key: Here’s your mission: Nothing twice. Never eat the same food twice. Never go to the same place twice. Never hear the same thing twice. Everything only once.
Be systematic. Follow guides. “Top Places You Must Visit” “Greatest Movies of All Tim
Best Restaurants in Town” Go through them all. That’s the optimized way to experience the most, without repetition.
The smart choice is sales. It will always be valuable. Learn to sell, and you can go anywhere. You’ll be paid well at any age. Always in high demand.
Get a job on the road. Always talking to strangers. That’s what you need.
How amazing that everything you’re doing is both the first and last time. The thrill of the first. The sentimentality of the la
Experience pain, anger, sorrow, and more. Don’t judge them as bad. Notice how they really feel.
One action creates a problem, fixed by another action, so they react and counter-act, creating more problems to fix. All of this can be avoided. All actions are optional. You don’t have to act or react. You don’t have to do anything.
People destroy relationships with an angry over-reaction. The metaphors for “blowing off steam” or “venting” are wrong. Expressing your anger doesn’t relieve it. It makes you angrier.
Most of what people say and do is unnecessary. Most talk is just noise. The English word “noise” comes from “nausea”. Say nothing unless it must be said.
People will appreciate your silence, and know that when you
speak, it must be important.
Most trouble is caused by action. No action, no trouble.
Most actions are a pursuit of emotions. You think you want to take action or own a thing. But what you really want is the emotion you think it’ll bring. Skip the actions. Go straight for the emotion. Practice feeling emotions intentionally, instead of using
actions to create them. You don’t need marriage to feel security. Marriage doesn’t make you secure. You don’t need recognition to feel pride. Recognition doesn’t give you pride. You don’t need a beach to feel tranquility. Places don’t make emotions. You do.
When a problem is bothering you, it feels like you need to do something about it. Instead, identify what belief is
really the source of your trouble. Replace that belief with one that doesn’t bother you. Then the problem is solved. Most problems are really just situations. Reassess your constraints, but also rationalisatiom
When someone asks you to decide, just refuse. The longer you go without deciding, the more information is revealed. Eventually, the choice is obvious and made without an agonizing decision.
Just because somebody asked you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it.
Dramatic people are fueled by reactions. When you stop reacting, they go away. Same goes for yourself. Your emotions insist they need you to respond. When you ignore the urges, they go away too.
When people give opinions, add a question mark. If they say, “Immigration is bad,” change it to, “Immigration is bad?” Let the questions drift away, unanswered.
Live where nothing is happening. Move to a quiet place with lots of nature and no ambition. Doing nothing is normal there. Walk and appreciate nature for hours a day. Your life and mind will be tranquil and serene. Peace is the absence of turmoil. You won’t need the media, the internet, or a phone. Your cost of living will be hardly more than local eggs and vegetables. Doing nothing is the ultimate minimalism
If you need money, be an investor. It’s the only career where you profit the most by doing the least. It should take no more than an hour per month. The stock market takes money from the active traders and gives it to the patient.
But if it still feels necessary, adjust your time frame. A year from now, will it be important?
Ten years from now? Zoom out as far as you need to make it unimportant. Then you’re free of it.
But you may think the world needs you to do something. That line of thinking makes it upsetting to die. Let go of feeling needed. Let go too soon instead of too late. The world doesn’t need you. You’re relieved of your duty because soon you won’t exist. Do nothing now to show that life goes on without you. Be selfless. Be free Effective altruism
The actions are obvious. Put money in an investment account and never withdraw.
Get preventative health checkups.
You need a constant vivid reminder. So use an age progression filter — the software that takes a photo of a face and realistically makes it look thirty years older. Run it on some photos of yourself. See your elderly face, and take care of that person.
Run it on photos of the people you care for. Save the results and put them where you’ll see them every day. These future people are your responsibility now.
Only spend money on things that do long-term good, like education. In other words, never spend, only invest. The earlier you start, the better, since time is the multiplier Basically my current way of spending. Can go harder though. Eg eating out and stuff. That’s social glue though
Put $25 a day in your investment account, and in thirty years, you’ll have over a million dollars.
Be extra-careful of habits that seem harmless.
Imagine each choice continuing forever. Eat a cookie, and eventually you’re obese. Shop for fun, and eventually you’re deep in debt. When you choose a behavior, you choose its future consequences. For me, literally eating cookies and chocolates and sugar stuff I don’t have to eat
Climate change might make everything between 40° and -40° latitude quite unlivable, so start getting legal resident status in a country outside of that, like Canada, New Zealand, or the Nordics.
These might be the last livable
places on Earth. Make sure your grandchildren will have citizenship. Be a great ancestor.
Short-term thinking is the root of most of our problems, from pollution to debt, both personal and global.
We treat the future like a garbage dump.
We dump our debts, pollution, junk, and responsibilities on the future, as if it’s a problem solved. It’s the most psychopathically inconsiderate thing we do to our children, since it’s their world, not ours.
Intertwine with the world.
You have kindreds scattered around the world. People who are weird like you are spread out everywhere. One of the best feelings in life is to meet someone who grew up in an opposite culture but has
your same humor, thoughts, or taste. Kai, Ilhan. Raj, Daniel, James Do me and Mathea share a sense of humor? Have I ever made her actually laugh? Has she made Me? Do we actually have that much in common?
If you want a successful network of connections, what matters is not how many people you know but how many different kinds of people you know. Building relationships worldwide brings more opportunity, more variety, and more chance for circumstance.
You can’t see your own culture while you’re inside of it. Once you get out and look back, you can see which parts of your personality actually come from your environment.
Traveling makes you better at communicating, since you can’t assume familiarity, and must speak simply and clearly. You’ll get used to speaking with people of different religions, worldviews, and communication styles. You’ll know when to be formal, when to joke, when to reference tradition, and when to swear.
Ask questions until you understand why things are the way they are.
Like a person’s outlook on life is shaped by what they’ve been through, a culture’s values are shaped by its recent history. Learn the local mindset. Don’t ask how “they” do things. Ask how “we” do things. That small difference is important. This is your new home. Wellington…
Once a place really feels like home, move somewhere new. Pick a confusing or scary place that you don’t understand. Repeat the process. Make it your home. Try to make the connection official by getting visas, residency, and citizenship. Do this until no part of the world feels foreign.
From Germany, learn rationality and directly honest communication. Leave before you start scolding strangers. Raj
From Japan, learn deep consideration for others, social harmony, and intrinsic perfection. Leave before you get so considerate that you can’t express yourself or take action. Raj
If you eventually need a permanent home, choose the place you’d want to be if everything goes wrong. Choose a culture that values what you value.
When you’re young, time goes slowly because everything is new. When you get older, time flies by, forgotten, because you’re not having as many new experiences.
Document everything, or you’ll eventually forget it. Nobody can erase your memories, but don’t lose them through neglect.
Journal every day. Write down your activities, thoughts, and feelings for future reference.
Video everything. Compile and edit them, so they’re appealing to watch.
To enjoy your past is to live twice. Nostalgia links your past and present. Nostalgia protects against stress and boredom, and improves your mood.
Nostalgia makes you more optimistic, more generous, more creative, and more empathetic. Nostalgia is memories minus the pain. Being nostalgic makes you less afraid to die.
Turn your experiences into stories. A story is the remains of an experience. Make your stories entertaining, so people like to hear them. By telling good stories, your memories can last longer, because people will echo them back to you occasionally, or ask you to tell them again.
Your memories are a mix of fact and fiction. Your story about an experience overwrites your memory of the actual experience. So use this in your favor. Re-write your past. Embellish adventures. Disempower trauma. Re-write your stories into whatever works for you. Remember only what you want to remember. You have the right to reframe
Summarize a painful time into a tiny story — under a minute. Tell this belittled version a few times to make it stick. This is the version you’ll
remember — stripped of pain and power
Mastery is the best goal because the rich can’t buy it, the impatient can’t rush it, the privileged can’t inherit it, and nobody can steal it. You can only earn it through hard work. Mastery is the ultimate status.
Decisions are easy when you have only one priority. Your destination is a huge mountain peak on the horizon. You can see it from everywhere. Yes to that mountain, and no to
everything else. You’ll always know where you’re going, and what you’re doing next. All paths go either towards that mountain or away from it. For me, that includes swerving into all all dark patches of forest, cos I still have to spend time learning what’s there. But this permits avoiding returning to Wells where I already know what’s there. Maybe I didnt spend enough time at Chris Lakin job to really know what having a part time job was like. Would it have taught me stuff? But also, isn’t there other stuff to do with the hours that’s more valuable?
Because of this perspective, problems won’t deter you. Most people look down at the ground, upset by every obstacle. With your eyes on the horizon, you’ll step over obstacles, undeterred
If you haven’t decided what to master, pick anything that scares you, fascinates you, or infuriates you. Don’t ask, “Is this the real me?” or “Is this my passion?” Those questions lead to endless searching and disappointment.
Define “success” for yourself. Describe the outcome you want. You can’t hit a target you can’t see.
You need to understand something very counter-intuitive about goals. Goals don’t improve your future. Goals only improve your present actions. A good goal makes you take action immediately. A bad goal doesn’t.
A goal shows what’s right and wrong. What moves you towards your goal is right. What doesn’t is wrong.
When you first start learning, you improve massively every week. Beginning is fun. But real expertise comes only after years of hard work. The challenge is staying on the path.
You need ritual, not inspiration. Every day, no matter what, you must practice. Your practice ritual is your highest priority — an unbreakable commitment. Stubbornly protect this time against the demands of the
Once you get momentum, never stop. It’s easy to continue, but if you stop, it’s hard to start again. Never miss a day.
When you’re not practicing, remember: someone somewhere is practicing. When you meet them, they will win.
During your work time, do nothing but work. Keep your hands on your work, and your mind will follow. If you get stuck, just stop and close your eyes. The vacuum will extract your actions again.
Focus means head down. Big picture means head up. The more you’re doing of one, the less you’re doing of the other. If you’ve been head-down on a task for too long, lift your head up to make sure you’re going the right way. Don’t do well what you shouldn’t do at all.
Don’t do well what you shouldn’t do at all. Pursuing mastery is am
Most people fail in life not by aiming too high, but by aiming too low. If you aim high and miss, you don’t actually fail.
Move to the most ambitious place in your field. (Actor? Hollywood. Tech? Silicon Valley. Etc.) Expectations there are so high that they’ll help push you to be the best. You want the pressure. You want the stress.
Don’t live somewhere pleasant surrounded by normal people. Live among your fellow freaks, where obsession is normal and ambition is rewarded. Wellington? I mean, it’s a lot further than State schools for normal people, and then it’s a lot further than say ea place for doing important work… I have Competition if its about putting my head down and focusing on school…
You don’t get extreme results
without extreme actions. If you do what most people do, you’ll get what most people get. Don’t be normal. Society’s guidelines are for the lost — not for you. What do you need to do do to be happy? What if u do what a lot of people do but its sufficiently more than most people that its enough to be happy?
You don’t need a spouse or kids. You don’t need to hang out, make small talk, or join in common rituals. You don’t need to sleep at normal hours, keep a tidy home, or even relax. Be sharply focused, not well-rounded.
Think of the legendary achievers: the geniuses, brilliant artists, record-breaking athletes, or self-made billionaires. Do you think those people were well-balanced?
Of course not. They focused all their energy only on one thing. That’s why they were great. Pursue your mission at the expense of everything else. Email will macaskill and ask him if true?
Nobody cares what you’re bad at, and neither should you. Amplify your strengths. Nobody will see the rest.
Keep the rest of your life boring. Drama is a distraction. Your personal life and other concerns can shrink to almost nothing. Focus everything on your work.
Mastery is not about doing many things. It’s doing one thing insanely well. The more you take on, the less
you’ll achieve. Say no to everything but your mission. This is your one contribution to the worl
Remember the saying “jack of all trades, master of none”. That’s the opposite of you. You are master of one.
How long will it take you to become a master? It doesn’t matter. Imagine getting to a mountaintop after a long hike through a gorgeous forest. Achieving your goal would feel like taking off your backpack.
That’s all. You do it for the journey, not the destination. Pursuing mastery is how to live. I’m tired. I want to rest. I want my life to be easy and to involve hanging out, I dont want to be chained to having to do important ea work. This makes me think of naval, makes me think “I want money, I want freedpm”. At least first. I want to rest for a long time Learning to invest is high payoff for me I think
Let randomness rule.
So randomize your life. Use a random generator — an app, a roll of the dice, or a shuffled deck of cards — to make all of your life’s decisions. Choose a life where you choose nothing. Let the random generator decide what you do, where you go, and who you meet. Want to make some vaguely important with a true random number generator at least once
It’ll scramble your habits. It’ll break the myth of causality. It’ll guide you to see places you’d never ordinarily see, and do what you never would have done.
Randomness keeps your mind open and observant. You can’t predict, so you see clearly. You can’t
Let your random generator choose what you wear and how you cut your hair. Let it send you to events you ordinarily wouldn’t have attended, including classes to learn skills you ordinarily wouldn’t have learned. You’ll become a member of groups you never would have chosen. Eventually, you’ll look, act, and socialize very differently than your previous self. You won’t define yourself by these things anymore, since you didn’t choose them
When ordering in a restaurant, ask them to surprise you. When doing creative work, let the random generator make your artistic decisions, shaking up your usual style.
Randomness helps you learn acceptance. You can’t take the blame for failures. You can’t take credit for successes. You can’t regret what you didn’t cause.
You’ll be living a lesson that everyone should learn. Random stuff happens. All you can control is your response. Every day, you’ll practice how to react to chaos: with dignity, poise, and grace. Wow, maybe it is actually good, maybe hope is actually wrong… again…
Here’s how to live: Pursue pain. Very important chapter
Everything good comes from some kind of pain. Muscle fatigue makes you healthy and strong. The pain of practice leads to mastery. Difficult conversations save your relationships. But if you avoid pain, you avoid improvement. Avoid embarrassment, and you avoid success. Avoid risk, and you avoid reward.
Anyone can be their best when things are going well. But when things go wrong, you
see who they really are.
Improvement is transformation. It brings the pain of loss of the comfortable previous self. It brings the pain of a new set of problems. Wealth brings the pain of responsibility. Fame brings the pain of expectations. Love brings the pain of attachment. If you avoid pain, you avoid what you really want.
Pain’s power relies on surprise. If you expect it, it’s weaker. If you choose it, it’s gone.
Choosing pain makes it bearable. It loses its power to hurt you. You become its master, not victim.
Choosing pain means pushing past your instincts. Food that tastes good is bad for you, and vice-versa. So don’t use your feelings as a guide.
Choose pain in small doses to build your resistance to it.
Socially, try to get rejected. Learn about “rejection therapy”. Make audacious requests that you think will be denied. This removes the pain of rejection. And you’ll be surprised how often they say yes.
The best way to learn a foreign language is to stop speaking your mother tongue. No matter how embarrassing or frustrating, communicate only in your new language. Necessity is the best teacher. But it hurts.
Practice taking on the various kinds of pain. Attempt something that seems impossible — something that terrifies you.
Give a speech. Do a ten-day silent meditation. Quit a habit. Apologize to someone you wronged. I smiled because none of them seemed hard. It’s the extent Extreme challenges theory of growth
The sooner you pay a price, the less it costs. With not telling Chris about job till he asked. Extremely embarrassed
Be absolutely honest with everyone. Stop lying, completely. You lie when you’re afraid. You lie to avoid consequences. Always say the truth. Take the painful consequences.
The most exhilarating experiences in your life so far were daring.
Your proudest moments were overcoming a struggle. The best happiness comes after some pain. Yep, wirb 3xtrwmw challenges, asking out girls, doing that other thing
Since you can’t avoid problems, just find good problems. Happiness isn’t everlasting tranquility. Happiness is solving good problems.
That’s why we play games. Games are challenges. Any challenge can be turned into
a game. Literally deep. Straight up deep.connection between 2 things u did t realise were creative
But don’t be a masochist. Be a scholar of pain. Every pain has a lesson inside, and a reason why it hurts. Analyze it. Understand it.
Ghosts don’t leave until you’ve understood their message. Problems persist until you claim them and solve them. Face them directly and they’ll disappear. Kinabalu Journal, Chris Latin. Apologising to ztara and ilhan
First we figured out how to fly, then how to get to the moon. After you conquer the little problems, you’ll face the better ones.
Facing pain helps you relate to others. Your problems are never unique. Whatever problems you’ve had, many other people have had the same problem. We empathize with someone who’s struggling. It opens our hearts more than seeing someone win. You know this. From mo secrets
Most people don’t get to choose how they suffer. Once you tame pain for yourself, tame it for others.
The easy road leads to a hard
future. The hard road leads to an easy future. Steering towards the pain is how to live.
Do whatever you want now.
You know immediately whether you like something or not. But if someone asks why, you start making up reasons. The truth is you like it or you
don’t. That’s it. That’s life. Do whatever you like. You don’t need explanations.
If you don’t want to do it now, then you don’t want to do it at all, so let it go. Doesn’t work with like school stuff, but definitely works somehow
You don’t need plans. Plans are just predictions about what you might want in the future. But your future self shouldn’t be bound to what your past self predicted. So never make plans. When someone asks, just say you can’t know until that day. All you know is now.
Most problems are not about the real present moment. They’re anxiety, worried that something bad might happen in the future. They’re trauma, remembering something bad in the past. But none of them are real. If you stop and look around the room, and ask yourself if you have any actual problems right now, the answer is probably no. Unless you’re in physical pain or danger, the problems were all in your head.
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to desire. Heaven is not what’s at the end of the path. Heaven is the path itself. Wtf, the poem??
Be a famous pioneer.
Nobody had ever run a mile in under four minutes. It seemed impossible. But one day, Roger Bannister did it, and the news spread worldwide. Over the next two years, thirty-seven people also did it. This is the power of the pioneer: To enable the impossible. To open a new world of possibility. To show others that they can do it too, and take it even further
The old finish line becomes the new starting line.
A famous pioneer does mor
human progress than a billion others who live a normal life.
So if you want to help humanity while having the most exciting life, then the way to live is to be a famous pioneer. Go to new extremes. Try new ideas. Visit undiscovered cultures. Show what can be done.
Your job is not just to act, but to tell a fascinating story of how you did so, and inspire others to do it. Make great adventures, but tell greater stories. Pursue massive media attention, not for vanity or ego, but so your stories can open minds, spark imaginations, and lead to further explorations.
Your final act of generosity is your absence. It leaves a void for others to
Chase the future.
Here’s how to live: Chase the future.
Give away everything you haven’t used in a week.
Spend your social time meeting new people. You’re not the same person you were last year or even last week. Old friends and family see you as you used to be, and unintentionally discourage your growth.
Oppose convention because that’s how things were. Slavery was a convention. Human sacrifice was a convention. Denying human rights to women was a convention. Some day our current conventions will seem as w
as these. Since you live in the future, start condemning them now.
Value only what has endured.
Ignore all marketing and advertising. Nobody is pushing what really matters. Friendships, nature, family, learning, community. The best things in life aren’t things
Ignore all news. If it’s important, there will eventually be a good book about it. When people ask you about current news, proudly have no opinion.
Live in the past. Watch the greatest movies of all time. Read the classics. Listen to the legends. These things have lasted because they work so well. Time is the best filter.
Before trying to improve something old, find out why it is the way it is. Never assume people in the past were ignorant. They did it that way for good reasons.
Learn time-tested skills that were just as useful in your grandparents’ time as they are today. Speaking, writing, gardening, accounting, persuasion, and survival skills. These skills have hardly changed in a century. They’re unlikely to change in your lifetime.
Master the fundamentals, not new tricks. Learn the timeless aspects of your craft.
You get healthy by learning healthy habits. You get wealthy by learning valuable skills. You build a great interpersonal life by learning people skills. Most misery comes from not learning these things.
The biggest obstacle to learning is assuming you already know. Confidence is usually ignorance
If you’re not embarrassed by what you thought last year, you need to learn more and faster. When you’re really learning, you’ll feel stupid and vulnerable — like a hermit crab between shells. I thought this too! 4 seconds ago??
Be surprised by something every day.
Find that exciting moment when you get a completely new perspective. Like a movie that reveals something at the end which changes the way you think of everything you’ve seen before. If you’re not having these moments often, find new inputs.
Whatever scares you, go do it. Then it won’t scare you anymore. Whatever you hate, get to know it. Then you won’t hate it anymore.
If you’re not surprised — if you didn’t feel your brain changing — then you didn’t really learn. Noticing confusion
Take notes. Review them often.
Make flash cards to remind your future self what you learned today. Quiz yourself with spaced repetition. Knowledge fades and eventually disappears unless you keep it refreshed.
Get out of your room and try out a new skill in the real world. Go to the physical place where it’s happening, and put your ass on the line with something to lose
Communicate knowledge to others to make sure you understand. Don’t quote. Put it in your own words without looking up or referencing what others said. If you can’t explain it yourself, you don’t know it. Me explaining unfalsifiability and the razor to gunny, didnt need to remotely quote anything
To communicate clearly, you have to think clearly. Writing is refined thinking.
Public speaking tests your writing on a real audience. Great public speaking comes from great private thinking Jack ptchey, it was from thinking about it a lot. Basically all my speeches in lambda are about things I’ve written about before
Follow the great book.
Follow your passion” is terrible advice. Fleeting interests are a bad compass. Passions pass so quickly that to follow them would have you dashing around like a dog chasing bubbles. Don’t follow your heart. Your heart has been hacked. Your intuition is usually wrong because it’s just emotion, subliminally influenced by amoral inputs. Emotions are a wild animal. You need rules to tame It actually sounds kinda nice to do this with RAZ
Rules must be absolutely unbreakable. If you try to decide, each time, whether it’s OK to break the rule or not, then you’ve missed the whole point of rules. Rules are to save you from deciding. That’s why hard rules are easier to keep.
Choose the pain of discipline, not the pain of regret.
Physical discipline helps mental discipline. Align your outer self with your inner self. Cleaning your house helps clean your mind.
If you don’t obey your constraints, persuasive people and technology will pull you their way. Reddit… youtube…
Laugh at life.
But when a person is humorless, it’s the opposite. They’ve lost the point of life. A recovering hospital patient makes a joke. We’re relieved. Not just their body, but their soul is alive.
Humor means using your mind beyond necessity, beyond reality, for both noticing and imagining. That’s why we admire a quick wit. It shows you quickly looked at something from many angles, found the one that amused you the most, and considerately expressed it to someone else. Observation, creativity, and empathy, all in an instant. What could be a better sign of a healthy mind?
but then the villain starts laughing. Laughing? What does he know that we don’t? What unseen advantage would make him laugh when he seems to be at an end? To laugh at something is to be superior to it. Humor shows internal control.
To laugh at something is to be superior to it. Humor shows internal control.
Those who take life too seriously are the opposite, and at a
disadvantage. No matter what you need to do, there’s a playful, creative way to do it. Playing gives you personal autonomy and power. When kids play make-believe, anything goes. To play is to be free from constraints.
You can make light of anything. Respond to life’s events however you want. Nothing has to get you down.
A bad situation can feel all-consuming. A laugh shows you’ve escaped. Humor puts distance between an event and yourself. Comedy is tragedy plus time. Time belittles anything by
showing it’s not as bad as it seemed. Humor does that instantly. Maybe watching comedies about personal things Is really cathartic. Eg big mouth?
Besides, it makes you very appealing. Everyone wants to be with someone who’s having more fun Hanmer
Prepare for the worst.
You haven’t experienced massive devastation, but you probably will. It’ll be harder to make money. It’ll be harder to be happy. Much of what you love now will be gone. You’ll look back at this year as one of the easiest you ever had. You’ll get injured or sick, losing some of your ability to see, hear, move, or think.
The future is unpredictable and uncontrollable. Picture all the things that could go wrong. Prepare for each, so they won’t surprise or hurt you.
Disasters come suddenly, without warning. Tragedy hurts the most when it’s unexpected. But if you expect it, you take away its power.
Expecting life to be wonderful is disappointing. Expecting life to be disappointing is wonderful. If you expect to be disappointed, you won’t be. Expecting zara to not show up?
To appreciate something fully, picture losing it. Imagine losing your freedom, reputation, money, and home. Imagine losing your ability to see, hear, walk, or talk. Imagine the people you love dying tomorrow. Never take them for granted.
Luxury makes you soft, weak, and harder to satisfy. (Pity people who can’t enjoy anything less than the best.)
Never accept luxury, or you’ll find it hard to do without
because it will feel like loss. Like the huge monitors at cea. Probably wait till I can either have them all the time and never try them
When you realize you’re dependent on something, get rid of it to prove you don’t need it. The less you have, the less you have to lose.
My neighbor has a dog that attacks strangers and has even bitten a child. When people complain, my neighbor says he can’t help it. “Dogs will be dogs.” Wrong! Dogs can be tamed. He just never trained his dog. Instead he acts like the situation is hopeless, and makes it everyone else’s problem. This is how most people are about their emotions. They say, “I can’t help the way I feel.” Wrong! Emotions can be tamed
You are in control. The problem comes from going easy on yourself. Instead, train your emotions like you would a dog. Hmm, maybe I should?
Shallow happy is having a donut. Deep happy is having a fit body. Shallow happy is what you want now. Deep happy is what you want most. Shallow happy serves the present. Deep happy serves the future. Watching YouTube vs working on animation or other creation
Live for others.
Never say, “Not my problem.” Short for “I really rely don’t want to deal with it” which is okay
If you sincerely appreciate someone, and really engage with their interests, you will become friends. Ask open-ended questions, asking people’s thoughts. Ask them to elaborate on whatever they’ve said. Show that you’re interested. Allow silence. Don’t fill it. Silence gives space to think, and an invitation to contribute without pressure.
Small talk is just a way of matching the other person’s tone and mood. It helps them be comfortable with you.
Be warm, open, and fully present with everyone you
encounter. Confidence attracts. Vulnerability endears.
Appreciate differences. A conversation with a clone of yourself would be boring. Theo and Alex goldmine, couldn’t have that interaction were it just me
Whenever you’re thinking something nice about someone, tell them. A sincere compliment can put a lot of fuel in someone’s tank. People don’t hear enough
Be consistent. People can only depend on you if you’re consistent. Meet up regularly to maintain each friendship, so the connections grow stronger. Be patient with your friends, even for years at a time. Real friendship doesn’t end.
Imagine if you found out
someone was going to die tomorrow. Imagine how much attention, compassion, and generosity you’d give them. Imagine how you’d forgive their faults. Imagine what you’d do to make their last day on Earth the best it could be. Now treat everyone like that, every da
Success in business comes from helping people — bringing the most happiness to the most people. The best marketing is being considerate. The best sales approach is listening. Serve your clients’ needs, not your own. Business, when done right, is generous and focused on others. It draws you out of yourself, and puts you in service of humanity.
Money can represent freedom, safety, experience, generosity, attractiveness, power, or whatever you want.
One job pays way more than another because it has more social value. To get rich, don’t think about what’s valuable to you. Think about what’s valuable to others. To do the opposite is the cliché of the starving artist: creating something that’s valuable to you, but not to others.
Making money is a skill like any other. Learn it and practice it as you would anything else
Money is a great motivator. It works better than force, rules, punishment, or appealing to generosity. Great art has been created in pursuit of profit.
The world is full of money. There’s no shortage. So capture the value you create. Charge for what you do. It’s unsustainable to create value without asking anything in return. Remember that many people like to pay.
The more something costs, the more people value it. By charging more, you’re actually helping them use it and appreciate it. Charge more than is comfortable to your current self-image. Value yourself higher, then rise to fit this valuation.
The world needs more boldness. Refuse the comfortable addiction of a steady paycheck. Boldly jump on opportunities. Take risky action.
Create your own business. Come up with a brand name that can be attached to any business. (Perhaps it’s your name.) Use it for the rest of your life on everything of quality. A recognized brand can charge a premium price, earning more than unrecognized names. Instead of thinking of customers as leading to a sale, think of each sale as leading to a life-long relationship with a customer.
Use other people’s ideas.
Ideas are worth almost nothing. Execution is everything. The world is filled with ideas, yet so few take action and make them happen. Better to be filled with action than ideas. Best of all to be the owner. Own and control 100% of whatever you create.
Boring industries have little competition, since most people are seeking status in glamorous new fields. Find an old industry and solve an old problem in a new way. Your innovation might be behind the scenes, like owning the entire supply chain.
Avoid difficult business problems.
Your time is more profitably spent doing what comes easily to you.
Avoid competition. Never be another contender in the crowd, fighting for scraps. It doesn’t pay to do something anyone can do. Be separate — in a category of your own. Invent something completely new. Instead of fighting to split an existing dollar, inventing creates a dollar out of thin air. Invent for a very small niche of people who need something that doesn’t exist. Instead of making a key, then looking for a lock, find something locked, then make its key
Get in early on an industry that’s developing quickly. More risk, more opportunity, more investors, more rewards Crypto
Sell your business before you have to. Sell before it peaks. The fun is in creating a business, not maintaining it.
Investing is easy unless you try to beat the market. Settle for average. Be happy with a good-enough return from passive index funds that represent the entire world economy. Just take a few minutes per year to rebalance. Don’t over-think it. It’s better to do nothing than
something. Keep it simple and manage it yourself. Avoid exciting investments.
Reducing your expenses is so
much easier than increasing your income.
You don’t need to tell anyone you have money. You don’t even need to spend it. Don’t buy too many things, too big of a house, or hire too many people. Rich people who do this feel trapped and miserable. The less you buy, the more you’re in control. Forget lifestyle. Forget yourself. Stay 100% focused on creating value. Everything else is a corrupting distractio
Don’t loan money to a friend, or you’ll lose your money and your friend. You’d be better off just giving them the money. The return is the same ($0), but you’d skip the bad feelings.
When you’re rich, everything feels free. A $5000 expense feels like it costs a dollar. It doesn’t dent your bank account.
Money will be like tap water. It’s always there. You don’t need to think about it. Jesus Christ…
You only need to get rich once. When you win a game, you stop playing
Reinvent yourself regularly.
Putting a label on a person is like putting a label on the water in a river. It’s ignoring the flow of time.
Your identity. Your meanings. Your trauma. They’re all based on the core idea that you’re in a continuum, living a story. But there is no line between moments in time. There is no story. There is no plot.
Disconnect from your past. Cut all common threads. Keep nothing permanent. No tattoos. This is the opposite of the one where it said put everything under your own name
Every reinvention is the beginning, which is the most exciting time. Like a promise, just given.
You can do an activity absent-mindedly, or pay full attention to every detail of it. (Work is love in action.) You can make shallow small-talk, or really get to know someone. Choose to connect every time.
Sharing is connecting. Share your knowledge. Share your home. Share your time.
Learn about people to empathize with them. Not just individuals, but cultures, mindsets, and worldviews. If you are apathetic about or against something, learn more about it Trans stuff
Learn about people to empathize with them.
If you are apathetic about or against something, learn more about it.
Actively listen to people. When they’re succinct, ask them to elaborate. People aren’t used to someone being sincerely interested, so they’ll need some coaxing to continue. But never try to fix them. When someone tells you what’s broken, they want you to love the brokenness, not try to
Break down the walls that separate you from others and prevent real connections. Take off your sunglasses. Don’t text when you should talk. Avoid habitual comebacks and clichés. Admit what you’re really feeling, even when it’s uncomfortable. Keep communicating instead of shutting down. We think walls protect us from enemies, but walls are what create enemies in the first place.
Admit what you’re really feeling, even when it’s uncomfortable. Keep communicating instead of shutting down. We think walls protect us from enemies, but walls are what create enemies in the first place.
The hardest part of connecting with someone is being honest. If you say what you think someone wants to hear, you’re preventing a real connection. Holy shit, its no secrets of your own
The hardest part of connecting with someone is being honest. If you say what you think someone wants to hear, you’re preventing a real connection. Manners are shallow.
Honesty is deep. Always tell the real truth, or they’ll never know the real you, so you’ll never really feel loved.
Honesty is an ideal that’s always a little further away. It has no finish line. No matter how honest you are, there’s always more honest.
Don’t exaggerate to be more entertaining. Don’t downplay. If you downplay your achievements to make someone else comfortable, you’re preventing connection with that person and even with yourself. Just be honest. If you’ve done something great, say so. If you’re not doing well, say so.
If you have feelings for someone, and you don’t let that person know, you’re lying with your silence. Be direct. It saves so much trouble and regret.
You could live with others, pleasing only them. You could live in solitude, pleasing only yourself. But ideally, when with others, be the same person you’d be when alone.
And then there’s romantic love. You never really regret falling in love. Do it as much as possible.
Beware of the feeling that someone completes you or will save you. You have wounds in your past. You have needs that were ignored. You seek someone to fill these gaps — someone that has traits you crave. But nobody will save you. You have to fill those gaps yourself.
Notice how you feel around people. Notice who brings out the best in you. Notice who makes you feel more connected with yourself — more open and more honest. Don’t worry about anyone’s opinion of you. Don’t hope that someone is impressed.
Impress yourself. Be your ideal self. If that’s not impressive, then nothing would be. If the relationship isn’t going to work, it’s better to know early, instead of hiding your true self and putting up a façade for a long time before finding out.
Don’t try to change someone, or
teach them a lesson, unless they ask you to. Difference between raj and xorander
When one of you is being childish, the other needs to be the adult. Like a dance, you can’t both dip at the same time. One of you has to stay upright to keep the other from collapsing Hmm, maybe this is the solution to the raj thing
Unless you are drops of liquid, one plus one never equals one. You must both be free and able to live without each other. Be together by choice, not necessity or dependence. Love your partner, but don’t need your partner. Need is insatiable. Need destroys love.
If you choose not to love someone, break up with one last
boost of love, empathy, and kindness, instead of showing your lack of love.
The saddest life is one without love. The happiest life is filled with love. Choose to love as much as you can. Loving is how to live.
Die empty. Get every idea out of your head and into reality. Calling yourself creative doesn’t make it true. All that matters is what you’ve launched. Make finishing your top priority. When most people see modern art, they think, “I could do that!” But they didn’t. That is the difference between consumer and creator. Don’t alter your state with alcohol or drugs. They make the mundane more interesting to you, which then makes you less interesting to others. Hmm, like hanging out with harding? Like hanmer being aesthetically displeased with broos hanging out? Embrace what’s weird about you, and use it to create. Never think you need to be normal or perfect. Flawless people don’t need to make art.
If you’re not excited by it, your audience won’t be either. Hanmer
Originality just means hiding your sources
Separate creation and release. When you’ve finished a work, wait a while before you release it to the world. By then, you’re on to something new. The public comments won’t affect you, since they will be
about your past work
Consider creating under a pseudonym. This will help you know that criticism is not about you, just something you made.
If you are proud of what you made, it was a success. The less you please everyone else, the more you please your fans. Real success comes not from the crowd, but from feeling proud.
Stay in situations where you’re
forced to show your work to other
Charge money to make sure your creations are going to people who really want them. People don’t value what’s free. Charge for their sake as much as yours. Charge even if you don’t need the money.
Incorporate a company. Name it something you can take seriously. You own the company, and it owns your creations. That creates a healthy distance so the company can demand payment for its copyrights. It can be your guard dog and bill collector, so you can remain a pure artist
Let the deadline of death drive you. Create until your last breath. Let your last spark of life go into your work. Die empty, so death takes only a corpse.
Don’t die. For something to succeed, everything needs to go right. For something to fail, only one thing needs to go wrong.
What do you want out of life? That’s hard to answer. What don’t you want? That’s easy.
To have good people in your life, just cut out the bad ones.
Make a million mistakes.
You learn best from your mistakes. This is true. So you should deliberately make as many mistakes as possible.
You’ll be extremely experienced.
You’ll get incredibly smart. You’ll learn more lessons in a day than others learn in a yea
Trying to write a great song is hard. Trying to write a bad song is easy and fun. You could do it in one minute, right now.
Live your whole life this way. Jump into action without hesitation or worry. You’ll be faster and do more than everyone else. What takes them a month will take you an hour, so you can do it ten times a day.
Do what everyone says not to. Ignore every warning so you can find out for yourself. Learn by hands-on experience. The more mistakes you make, the faster you learn. Once you’ve made all the mistakes in a field, you’re considered an expert.
Take on big challenges. Start a company in Silicon Valley. Ask investors for millions. Audition for Hollywood movies. Invite your dream date to dinner. While everyone else is nervously preparing, you jump right in, unafraid to fail.
Create predicaments. Get into trouble. Being desperate leads to creative solutions.
This gives you emotional stability. No mistake will upset you. You’ll never think that a failed attempt means you’re a failure.
The people devastated by failure are the ones who didn’t expect it. They mistakenly think failure is who they are instead of the result of one attempt. If you’re prepared for endless failures, you’ll never think of yourself as a failure.
There’s only one difference between a successful person
a failure. A failure quits, which concludes the story, and earns the title. Rationality? Mathea?
Your growth zone is your failure zone. Both are at the edge of your limits. That’s where you find a suitable challenge. Aim for what will probably fail. If you aim for what you know you can do, you’re aiming too low
Share your stories from all your mistakes for the benefit of the world. Every plane crash makes th
next one less likely.
They expect life to stay within its current boundaries and rules. But all progress comes from those who ignore the boundaries, break the rules, or make a whole new game
Only dead fish go with the flow. Think of the scientific method
Someone proposes an idea, then others skeptically and rigorously try to disprove it. Use this approach on the world. Assume everything is wrong the way it is. Doubt it and attempt to change it, to prove it’s not correct.
Begin by righting what’s wrong. Look for what’s ugly: ugly systems, ugly rules, ugly traditions. Look for what bothers you. If you can fix it, do it now. Otherwise, aim lower until you find something you can do n
Make it how it should be. Don’t complain. Just make the change.
This gives you a new perspective on work. Work is whatever you want to change Interesting!! Like increview!!
Remove what needs to die. Instead of fixing, destroy what was there and replace it with something better. Sometimes you don’t know what to add, but you know what to remove
Every time you hear a song, watch a show, or read an idea, think of how you’d change it or combine it with something else. Keep your tools handy to rearrange, remix, and edit what you encounter. Then share your alterations
Don’t worship your heroes. Surpass them. Steven universe fanfiction. Do it hpmor style . U cam write
Change your beliefs, preferences, acquaintances, hobbies, location, and lifestyle. Your only constant habit will be looking for what else to change
Changing culture makes revolution. But it’s not a revolution if nobody loses. Someone will have to lose. People will be furious. When the bad people are mad, you’re doing it right
Virtue is in the balance between extremes. Between the insecure and the egomaniac: confidence. Between the uptight and the clown: grace. Between the coward and the daredevil: courage. Between selfishness and sacrifice: generosity.
You have different sides to your personality, with conflicting needs. Instead of ignoring one, make sure you balance them. Balance time with others and time alone. Balance your need for stability with your need for surprise. Balance input and output, consumption and creation, stability and adventure, body and spirit. Your opposing needs become each other’s remedy.
Work more on your weaknesses. Someone who’s rich but fat has different needs than someone
who’s fit but broke. Remember the spokes of the wheel.
Schedule everything to ensure balance of your time and effort. Scheduling prevents procrastination, distraction, and obsession. A schedule makes you act according to the goals of your highest self, not your passing mood. I could schedule stuff again
Schedule Oh my god do I love hanging out with poppy too much? Maybe I should more daika till bored of her than be free
quality time with dear friends.
Schedule preventative health checkups. Schedule focused time to learn. Schedule each aspect of your life, ignoring none. List what makes you happy and fulfilled, then schedule those things into your year.
The balanced schedule protects you from hurting yourself, from getting overwhelmed and ignoring important needs. You won’t over-work, over-play, or over-indulge.
The world’s greatest achievements were squeezed into existence by deadlines.
Set an alarm to start and stop on time. Obey your schedule, no matter how you feel. Schedule every hour of your day. Distraction steals what’s not locked down.
Once you’re living a balanced life, find new layers. The wheel has infinite spokes. Balance your needs versus the needs of others. Natural scope expansion
By balancing everything in your life, you postpone nothing. You won’t postpone happiness, dreams, love, or expression. You could die happy at any time. B