Against a shimmering metal tower, an energy compounded into a powerful shock, and suddenly a boy was tumbling, attatched to his wooden chair.
His hair and clothes flapped wildly as he tumbled downwards. In a shocked, frenzied silence he grappled at the side of the building, but there was nothing to hold on to. The ground was here.
He tumbled against it, crashing into a bush, and a brief instant later his ears were met with the sound of shattering wood as his the chair crashed beside him.
The boy lay still for a moment, his head realing.
He stretched out a leg, feeling a creaking inside as he did so.
Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Said his brain. But with no one to explain the reference to, he simply smiled to himself as he opened his eyes and climbed out of the bush, looking around.
He was in a field of some kind, one littered with a rather georgous… purple… hue… he slowly rose his head, and saw…
Stars. But more than he had ever seen, or counted. Sprawling with deep purples and blues, dotted frantically about the entirety of the sky.
His expression collapsed into unaltered adoration, still in his appreciation of the bizzre setpiece before him.
Finally he stealed himself, and returned his gaze to the fields that surrounded him. What on earth had just happened? He was in class, and then…
He pinched himself a few times to assure it wasn’t a dream.
Falling off the side of a building…?
Heye craned his head upward, and caught sight of the building he had just fallen off of. Beside him, reaching into the sky, lined with slabs of metal, was a tower.
He stared at it.
It was not impossibly tall, far from it. And yet still impressively so.
It did not take long to walk around it, trying to find an enterence. Heye was surprised to find a total lack of one, but no matter.
Heye looked around. Far off he could spot an orange glow spreading into the purple sky.
He took a step, and then paused. And after swooping back down to pick up the one surviving chair leg, he continued.
After about a half hour of walking, the source of the lights were obvious. It was indeed a small village, surrounded by a thatch wall.
Heye knocked apon it.
And arced his neck downwards, and blinked.
Staring up at him was what could closest be described as a short, blue man. His skin was wrinkled and crude, his stature think and brawly. A shabby, leather vest lay apon his shoulders, and his hands held nothing.
Heye stared back. It wasn’t quite human, but it was clearly humanoid… it wasn’t quite a feeling of the man being foreign, more like… alien…
He… he couldn’t actually be an alien, could he? He continued to stare at the creature, so stared amically back, wondering if he could really be on another planet…
But his wonders were quickly ashoed.
“It… it can’t be…” said the short blue alien man.
Heye’s brain responded on autopilot.
“Oh oh oh oh. hahahahaha, but it CAN be. And it is! I’ve got a new style, and a few new TOYS, that are gonna put an end, to your, happilly ever after, ONCE AND FOR ALL”
The instant after he’d recalled the Steven Universe quote he regretted it. Immediately after meeting a new species and learning they can speak was NOT the time to rehearse explicitly threatening dialogue!
But the man’s reply was quick— “Woah, woah, this has gotta be a misunderstanding. Incase you haven’t heard, I’ve established peace across the—”
He paused for a very long time, eyes locked with the short blue man.
Then he opened his mouth tentatively, and almost whispered…
“Yeah, yeah yeah, I’ve heard.”
“… You’ve had my little message to the universe, on loop?”
Heye’s head nodded ever so slightly.
“I just loved that part...”
“Where Pink Diamond spends the rest of her days on this…”
“With a bunch… of—”
“HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT?”
The short blue man gave a small mischevious smile, and raised his arms, as though it wasn’t up to him, and said, “you know what they say!”
“That’s not an explanation at all!” Heye didn’t bother waiting before his reply. He was deeply familiar with the “you know what they say” setup without payoff gag, and there wasn’t a sore bone in his body that wasn’t 100% sure that is what the man was doing just then.
“The [quoting] is strong! And so are the drinks!”
Heye’s pitch of voice hit the very high end of his register. “That was an Encanto reference! How do you know what Encanto is? Where am I??”
But the man had already began walking into the thatch compound. Heye had no doubt that quote had been an invitation for drinks. So he followed, stepping heavily into the compound.
We’re gonna save the miracle, the magic!
Each step he took behind the yet nameless blue man revealed another short, shabby house. Short, with straw protruding from thread. Outside some were further short, blue people, the women being distinguished from the men only really through the their eyes.
The glittery orange of the sun had begun to phase out the cool purple of the night, but that didn’t matter to Heye and his companion who’s name he still did not know, as he had just opened a door into what looked precisely like a bar. Literred around were dozens of small, sturly blue people.
Who would’ve guessed?
The alien’s voice went from zero to a hundred very quickly.,his voice booming through the bar he shouted, “The gods have given me, a—” and then, as if realising he’d forgotten something, he looked at Heye. “What’s your name? What’s your blood type? Are you allergic to WHEAT?”
But Heye had heard everything he was saying before. Not just the individual letters, not just the individual words, but all the sentences. Everything. And finally he figured it out.
“Is everything you’re saying a quote?”
“YES,” he said, identically to the board director from Rick and Morty Season 1 Episode 4: M Night Shamaliens.
Heye started to shake. He addressed the crowd. “Do all of you speak in quotes?”
“YES,” said a dozen voices, in the excactly identical way.
Heye blinked. And stared at them. They all stared back.
“Say something. Somebody say something.”
“Floop is a madman help us save us. Floop is a madman help us save us.”
And Heye recognised it, and that was enough. His body began to shake, just there where he stood. It convulsed, punctuated by gasps for air. The sound between the gasps became less silent, the unmistakable sound of a boy weeping. Tears that had been bubbling behind his eyes came flooding through, rolling down his cheeks and collecting at the base in messy puddles.
He had had no idea it meant so much to him… he wouldn’t have predicted it at all if you had told him in advance… and yet… the relief… the release…
Seeing him cry, another of the aliens, not the one who’d brought him, came over and took his hand, guiding him onto a seat, and said softly, “Woah, woah, hey now take it easy!” Anyone else would have been caught off guard by the line. Anyone else wouldn’t have been able to reconcile the crude juxtaposition between the correct social role just then, which was to comfort, and the aggression of the words.
After all, that was how he’d been talking his entire life.
Another one of the aliens walked up to him. And in a method clearly prompting a reply, asked, “And I owe it all to…?”
Heye did a big, gooey sniff of his nose and wiped the tears off his face. “Heye. It’s Heye. You’re..?”
”Sam,” said the humanoid creature. “Dearest Heye. Floop is a madman help us save us.”
Heye sniffed and cocked an eyebrow. “You’ve already used that one?”
“Floop is a madman help us save us,” they said again. “Floop is a madman help us save us.”
Sam walked up to where he was now, surrounded by at least five other of the Aliens. His eyes were pleading, and he said slowly, “Floop is a madman help us save us.”
The door to the bar shot open, crashing against the wall. Another alien flung in, shouting “No please no! No no we’re all gonna be. No please no, no no we’re all gonna be,” and frantically gesturing toward the wall.
“Hide,” said Sam.
“What?” said Heye. ‘Hide’ was a terribly simple word, so he had of course heard him perfectly, but that was the next line in the quote.
Sam took Heye’s hand and dragged him across the room, pushing him into a closet. The boy could read hesitation on the creature’s face, as he weighed up the likelihood of being able to fit inside too. But he had grasped the expression a moment too late, and Sam made up his mind without any input, shutting the door.
And as that door closed, another one opened.
The mechanical whirring now was deafening, and unending rumble punctuated by beeps and clicks. Heye crouched, catching a glimpse of a hefty grey body hovering just slightly over the ground.
No please no… his brain said…
At the excact same time Sam said the words out loud.
An alarm flared from the robot, the repeated blaring alarm accompanied by an errie red light now dowsing the bar.
A mechanical tenticle jutted out of the machine, its knife-like fingers scraping across the ground. They wrapped around Sam’s ankle and lifted him into the air, his head bumping brutally against the ground in the process. The bot drew the man towards him, revealing a comparement in its belly which Sam was yanked into.
“No please no, no no we’re all gonna be,” he said out loud. A cylinder shut tight over him, and wires proturding from within the bots stomach latched onto Sam’s skull.
“No please no, no no we’re all gonna be, no please no, no no we’re all gonna be— “
Heye stared in silent horror, frozen in place within the closet. As he watched the wires act apon its capture, Sam’s screams subtly began to shift…
“No please no… help me… no please… this hurts. Help me! Please…”
And then he collapsed against the metal of the inside of the bot. It retracted its tentacles, and hovered back out of the door.
A moment of stillness prevailed in the room. After a good minute, Heye was the first to creak open from his hiding place.
“What, the HELL, was THAT?” he said to the woman nearest him. She raised her head, her eyes bloodshot, and spoke grimly.
“Floop is a mad man. Help us. Save us.”